When Harry Mills was asked to name his former clubs, he began reeling off names such as Juventus Under 9s, Barcelona Under 10s, Real Madrid U13s, PSG Under 16s and… Seaford Town.
How many truthful answers the Hassocks utility man gave remains unknown. There was a startling admission at the end though as the man referred to by his team mates as Sheriff reveals a little about himself.
Whats your nickname?
Sheriff. I used to ride a horse for a little while.
What team do your support?
Tottenham Hotspur. A club that can have the likes of Gazza, David Ginola, Jurgen Klinsmann and Gary Mabbutt must be doing something right.
Who was your footballing idol growing up?
Robbie Savage. I’d watch him, and do the complete opposite.
What is the most valuable medal or award in your trophy collection?
I won something for Under 14s baton twirling once.
Best moment in your career?
Scoring an overhead kick from a full 30 yards.
Most embarrassing moment of your career?
The fact that that overhead kick was actually an overhead kick from a full 30 yards that went into my own goal.
Funniest thing you’ve seen in football?
Seeing somebody actually bark like a dog while chasing an opposition player. I’m not going to name who it was, but it was Jack Wilkins.
Best player you’ve ever played with?
Ian Walker.
Best ground you’ve ever played at?
The Old Wembley.
Favourite opposition team to play against?
Anyone who we can actually beat.
Who is the best trainer at Hassocks?
Me, obviously.
Worst dressed player?
Everyone at this football club dresses pretty badly.
What’s the best thing about playing for Hassocks?
The shorts and socks are the best fitting I’ve ever played in.
What’s the best piece of footballing advice you’ve been given?
“Don’t think, just do” which was said by one of my old managers at Seaford.
If you could introduce one rule to football, what would it be?
I’d get rid of goalkeepers and let teams play with 12 outfield players. One of those players can then be the goalkeeper at any point in the game.
Messi, Ronaldo or another? Who is the greatest of all time?
None of those – it’s Ledley King.
Which player do you dislike in football the most and why?
Pascal Chimbonda absolutely broke my heart when he missed a penalty in the UEFA Cup against PSV to knock Spurs out the competition.
What do you do with your life away from the Beacon?
I work on my sun tan, I love to surf and sometimes I play poker with fruit.
Which three famous people would you invite for dinner?
Pascal Chimbonda, so I could break his heart in revenge by giving him a warm beer when he turned up and then serving him a cold dinner. David Beckham and Jamie Redknapp would be the other two and they’d both be treated nicely.
If you could attend one sporting event from any moment in history, which would you pick?
The finals of the Extreme Ironing competition.
If someone was playing you in a movie about your life, who would it be?
Vinnie Jones.
Give us one interesting fact about you?
You might have noticed this, but I can’t actually play football.
